I grew up in a big dysfunctional ( but very close ) poor family. My parents were very young. They dealt with a lot of issues and there was a lot of fighting. My mom is bipolar. My dad is an immigrant. I had really good experiences and really bad with my mom. Because of my experience, I always wanted to be a mom.
What is your happiest moment? Watching my kids.
What's your biggest fear? Losing any of my children.
How many children do you have? Three from my first marriage with Abel, one from my second marriage with Mike. When my first three were growing up I often took care of my sister's children who were the same age as mine. I don't know how I cared for six little children at the same time but I did!
How old were you when you got married the first time? Sixteen. I had my first son at seventeen and dropped out of school. I went back to school. I'd spend all day with the babies and when my husband came home from work I'd go to school and stay for four hours. When my oldest was two, and I had a one-year-old, and newborn I graduated from an adult program.
Most interesting place you've ever been? Jail
What are your hobbies? Taking pictures, traveling to new places, and couponing. I once bought two-hundred and seventeen big Clorox wipes, saving over $800. It lasted three years!
When was the last time you sang out loud? With my oldest daughter.
Where is your father from? Vietnam. He needed a kidney transplant and back in the 80's there was a church in Charlotte who did missionary work and brought my dad here for the transplant. Afterward he attended high school and met my mom. They were married when he was seventeen and she was sixteen.
When was your last DIY project? Right now I'm putting together popcorn buckets for the kids for Valentine's Day.
Of which accomplishment are you most proud? I'm proud of graduating.
MY STORY
I like to share my experience, it may help others. I took accounting at the community college. I wanted to get into the State of Michigan. No one ever had good jobs in my family so it was a huge deal when they hired me.
My first job was in the Department of Corrections. I wanted to get into the Department of Treasury (Special Unit). I did, processing tax returns and worked there for five years. Life was good!
Meanwhile, my husband Abel was deployed to Afghanistan. We had been best friends in middle school and got married in high school. Suddenly things were very different between us. I discovered he was having affairs and had an entire different life in Afghanistan. It was devastating. I didn't know who I was alone. I had always had him and the kids.
Amidst discovering his affairs, in 2013 we had a house fire and lost everything. We lived in a hotel for two weeks while the insurance company did their investigation. We had nothing-- no toothbrushes or underwear for the kids. Everything was stressful. When we finally got the settlement my husband turned around and took it all and left us.
Abel asked for a divorce. I freaked out, even though I still had a good job. I made a fake tax return and got the refund. It was a way of cooping with my life spinning out of control. The kids couldn't see their father but I could take them on trips a few times a month. We'd even spend a week at Great Wolf's Lodge. I blew money like a crazy person and continued to make fake tax returns and get the refunds. It seems odd now but back then it never once occurred to me that I'd be caught.
July 2015 things everything changed. I remember being called into a meeting. It felt very normal at first, I always had meetings. But when I walked into the office it was full of detectives. I was told to get a lawyer and go home to say goodbye to my kids. I went out to the parking lot and called my siblings. I cried so hard that I couldn't even tell them what had happened. I couldn't imagine being separated from my kids. Even though they were twelve, eleven, and ten at the time they had spent no more than five days away from me in their entire lives. The FBI had to get involved and I was facing a potential of seventy-five years in prison. It was possible that I'd never see my kids again.
When I got home my brother walked into the house with a shovel. I told everyone what happened and they were shocked. My brother said "I thought you killed Abel!" It was funny to think that my family was more shocked to hear about the tax fraud I had committed than if I had killed my first husband. They knew me and this wasn't anything I'd ever do. I was very judgmental and I thought people who went to jail were disgusting. I always told my kids never to lie and then I had to acknowledge to them everything I had done myself. I had a breakdown because I had become everything I was against.
During the investigation the detective asked me who I was. I told him all I ever knew was life as a mother. I didn't have anything that separated me from my kids. He told me that by the time I got out of jail my kids would have kids of their own. We had eight months of [nerve-racking] court hearings.
I wasn't a person that believed in God. Growing up my mom bounced from one church to another seeking assistance. I didn't like church; I never prayed. When I got arrested my mom and daughter told me to come to church with them. I begged God for mercy. I told him I'd do anything just not to take me away from my children.
God did save me and I was offered a plea agreement I never expected. As part of the agreement I had to show the Department of Treasury how I had managed to accomplish what I had, they hadn't been able to figure it out. I plead guilty and accepted twelve felony charges with $124,000 in restitution. Because I put some of the money into the house they allowed be to list it for shot-sale and apply the money to the restitution. Instead of getting what I could have (75 years) I got ninety days in jail and they said I'd get seventy-five for good behavior. I was able to spend Christmas with my kids and in January, 2016 I started my time.
I learned a lot from my time there. I learned that I don't have anything to complain about. I'm the kind of person who doesn't have a filter and people always perceived me as rough and mean. The first minute I spent in jail I learned that I wasn't as tough as I thought. The others would steal my things--tampons, my cup. You only got a change of uniform once a week and the guards didn't care if you bled all over yourself. It was really hard. My sister brought my kids to visit me but I only saw them through the glass. Out of my thirteen cellmates only me and one other girl got visitors.
I would have never associated with people like this before. I didn't like these people but when you're in a small room with thirteen women, you talk. I discovered that they were really good people that had no one to guide them. I saw their struggles too. If you're an addict they don't put you in detox before jail. Some of the women were coming off heroin--they vomited, their bodies shook violently, and they'd cry for hours. I became good friends with one girl, Kayla. She was sweet kind, bubbly, but an addict. She had loving parents but they enabled her. We'd go to church class together and bible study to get a certificate. Today Kayla is three years sober and has an eight-month old. Others are still struggling but I check in with them every now and again.
