Tell me about yourself(what makes you you)
I am the oldest of three daughters and second oldest child of two brothers. Each of us were born in Air Force Base hospitals in Texas—except my youngest brother who was born when I was thirteen, in Lansing, MI. My dad had nine brothers and sisters who all picked various crops most of their young lives. He served in Vietnam and obtained his associate degree as an adult. My mom was raised with five brothers picking various crops and cotton most of her life. She attended school only until fourth grade and only attempted to obtain her GED as an adult.
Spanish was my first language and times were hard for us as a Mexican family. I learned English as I attended school and as my parents learned it and began to teach us at home. As the years passed, we got used to only speaking English. I remember being very poor as a child.
I never had parents, teachers, or school counselors who would talk to me or help me set expectations to further my education. I was never encouraged to attend college. I took college classes but did not make it a high priority.My mom always told me to find a good man to marry so that he could support me. I married in 1984 and started working as a clerical assistant at MSU in 1985. While I was blessed with two wonderful children,the marriage lasted only five years. After having worked at MSU for over twenty-five years I was laid off. I realized they could take my home, my income, my job but they would never take my education. It took me until I was over fifty-years-old to obtain my undergraduate degree from MSU—but God knows I did it!
What happened to your son and how did you get through it?
In 2017, I received a phone call that my son had been shot and was being taken to the hospital. He was a victim of an attempted home robbery and held at gunpoint—at his home in the middle of the day. My son attempted to fight him off but ended up being shot four times. Three of those shots hit him, one left him instantly paralyzed—for life. It was a horrific shock. Months earlier, he had returned from the Army National Guard. He was finishing up a physics degree at MSU and within one month was making plans to walk across the stage at MSU. He had a ten-year-old son (entering his tween years) and a two-year-old daughter who still wanted to be carried by her daddy. How could it be? He went from being a strong, healthy young man— completing Army boot camp and training— to a man who would spend the rest of his life in a wheelchair.
I honestly wondered how he would continue with his life. I initially fell apart when I got the news but I knew for the sake of my kids and grandkids I had to be the one to step up and be strong. Friends and family would ask how I managed to cope with such tragedy. In all truthfulness, I feel as if I went numb for a while. I went into instant freeze mode—in total disbelief. But, as time passed, I knew I had to accept the way things were and pray that God would see us through in time. My son, on the other hand, remained so very optimistic. It was through his optimism that I managed to cope without breaking down every time I saw him in that hospital bed.
My grandson would plead to stay in the hospital with him. The hospital wouldn’t allow it because they couldn’t be held liable if they had to rush my son off and no one was there to watch my grandson. My son invited his Army buddies, co-workers and family/friends to visit his son.
Over time, he eventually made it out of the hospital. I had been convinced that he would have to come live with me until he was better. I was convinced that there was no way one could manage on his own. But, there was never a doubt in his mind and he would look at me and say “I’m looking into finding an apt. that will work for me—it just needs to be wheelchair accessible. Now, years later, he has learned to drive himself everywhere, he lives on his own and is raising his children, he still finds ways to sled and fish with them. So often, I forget that he is paralyzed. I don’t see him as “disabled”—just living his life a little differently than you or I. He is on his own and as independent.
The year following this tragic incident--he never once showed fear. He never expressed resentment or hatred or anger at the person who did this. We faced the assailant in court and witnessed the day he was sentenced to life in prison—not for what he had done to my son but for taking the life of another man he had robbed earlier.
One thing I’ve taken from all of it is to learn to forgive. It is one of the hardest things to do in life and some things have taken a lot longer but in the end—I know God wants us all to forgive every one of our sins. For Jesus, I forgive.
If you could only have one thing for the rest of your life what would it be?
Gum. I can snap it, blow bubbles, stretch it out and wrap it around my finger like I used to when I was a kid, have fun with it and never get enough of it!
What was your last moment of bliss? I live for full body massages—they are most heavenly!
Is the first impression people have of you accurate? No. I’ve been known to give the “stank eye” so people get the impression I’m mad all the time and mean. I’m not. I make friends easily and I’ll bend over backwards to help anyone out.
If you could meet anyone who would it be? I would have loved to meet someone like Mother Teresa or Mahatma Ghandi
What characteristic do you get complimented on the most? Compassionate for others.
What is your biggest fear? The fear of the unknown.
When was the last time you sang out loud? I only sing out loud to my grandchildren--five-years-old and younger
What thing don't most people know about you? I’m in extrovert introvert.
What's your greatest achievement? Earning a degree at a later age as a single mother
Who would you like to meet? I have hosted exchange students from various countries—I would like to host again some time down the road—I’m always up to meeting someone new from a different culture background than my own.
What was your last DIY project? Putting together a dresser
What was your favorite food as a child? Tortillas con mantequilla (butter)
What place would you'd like to visit? Thailand and Brazil where my host daughters live—they are like my own daughters!
What is your favorite place to visit? My favorite place to visit is my relatives in Texas because as poor as they are they always manage to make you laugh and feel welcomed the entire time we are there
What valuable life lessons have you learned? Never underestimate any human being’s ability.
